im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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