i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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