sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Green mimosas i think yes
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
