Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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