Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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