after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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