so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
