I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
