I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
