im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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