She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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