I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
