i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
