Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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