I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
