"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
