i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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