Kiss
Puke
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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