I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
