come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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