EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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