quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
