Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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