saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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