It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
