Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
