What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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