Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
