dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Slut skills are useful in every country.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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