I swear she didn't look like that last week.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
