Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
