at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
