Umm I'm too high to move.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
