and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
