I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
