I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Can vaginas get frostbite?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So. Much. Porn.
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