Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
