she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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