I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
