there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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