stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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