My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i need some magic done to my vagina
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
