Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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