no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
