Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
