i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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