i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
