I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
