so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
