So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
